Sep 8, 2012

Its midnight, and the evening has just started

I

It is midnight, and the evening has just started.
I am standing on the porch of Marcela’s house,
And looking out her window to a polished placa
Of shiny stone tiles Catalunyan.
The placa is bordered on one side
With a line of dark green trees,
Dancing in a cool autumn breeze.
And on three other sides stand adorned faces
Of pretty iron balconies and windows like mine.
It is midnight, and people walking on the side street
Look like they’ve just turned twenty,
Playing and wiggling and swiggling.
I witness this play live today.
And smile.

It started with hum of a song today, a song in my heart
When I went to meet those lovers of paradise in hay
Hands in hand, then kisses on the cheek

Beer dos grandes and three puffs of weed
Then we merry merrily walked around
Through stoned streets of El Born…

Snuffing a royal hookah Kashmiri,
Outside a shop sits this old bent lady.
Tonight, she’s reading fairy tales for free!

The more I drift apart,
The more I come back
To being myself.

So pray we may rise, and again fall.
So we may must see it all!




II

A small ball bounced round a small tree in the placa.
And there comes a cute little doggy
Bouncing more than the ball,
So much with life trying to fetch it.
Then I see a man, a very young man,
In the prime and peak of his generative years,
Swinging and posing quickly
For the next football pass to his doggy.
Doggy has a small stature, short legs
With a long flowy fur body, and dangling flappy ears.
He jumps around for the ball,
And his long and black silk swirls
With sudden gusts of the whispering breeze
Showing shades of snow white underneath.

He looks so beautiful,
So lively, so joyful, I could die.

He embodies all bloom
So fresh, so wild,
Mori ami more jai.

He has a white streak,
Through the middle of his forehead.
And he looks so more handsome with that!

His tail looks like a tight oblong ball
Of strewn wool, vibrating vigorously
When he waits impatiently for the long pass.

It looks funny. But being funny has its own joy.
So much so as being joyful has its own fun.
It is past midnight, and I witness. Smiling.




III

A woman appears then after.
She has short n black curly hair.
And I can say,
That she has spent almost all
Heavy years of her life, already.
Now she’s turned alive again,
The most she has ever been!
Her supple skin shining
In halogen white
From such a distance,
Refreshes me to my fingertips.
She exchanges a sweet glance
Dipped in a smile with the man,
Who has the ball tightly placed
Under his sneakered right foot.

Few words I hear them say,
So I know they are neighbors.

And then Doggy starts a wiggle-tail
So vehemently, feet jumping in the air
To greet this lady as excitingly as he could.

So the man and the woman played with Doggy,
Eyeing him, talking to him, teasing him with the ball.

Dekhi ami dekhe jai
Hathrey shatrey dube jai

Now slo-w-ly lost in me I be-come
In a rich velvet prussian sky

And I see, my eyes dripping in love, just being witness
To this heart melting moment in time!
So sublime! 




IV

Marcela asks,
Rito, are you here?
I wake, gather myself and turn.
And I see her grin,
In a way no one else
Must have never noticed.
In her grin she is, and you can never see.
You have to see her through her.
It is not something you will see
When you look at her,
Or talk to her,
Or make love to her.
You see it only when you look closer,
A lot closer; it comes from where she breathes.

Marcela, I want to breathe you,
When you breathe a li’l closer.

Marcela, I want to become you
As you become my mother.

As a quiet baby in her womb,
I try to match her grin in a way

And say, I’m just having fun!
The truth is,

At this very moment,
This very present moment,
I am feeling pure golden jovial joy.

I feel I am alive.
I feel I am living.

I feel I am life.

Aug 31, 2012

An Ode to Pain...

I'd like to fall into you. I am in sickening need of you my love. This growing hunger of screeches and screams, of shrills and shrieks, it's maddening me! It is consuming me like wet clouds engulfing the dusky sky. Come back once again my rainbow! Come my chaos of frenzied stars, my crescent constellation! I'd like to make love with you. You've held me in your arms when the grounds of earth were burning. You gave me your scorn of which I gained my strength. You were my God that meant no mercy, you led me to my senses. I was one then, I am some more now. Because of you sweet love - my beauty, my pain... I am in need of you again.

I am talking to my pain now, not you. Pain is alluring me again to the mysterious depths of longing. She was there with me when no one was. She is in motion now, moving in slow swirls preparing for a dance again. I can see her. Her eyes with a sparkle of her glisten, moistens with salt when she looks at me. She is calling me with her arms wide open, her heart pounding to the drums. I can hear them. Hear them beat the drums in rhythm, as if harking all those angels with naked wings and red robes invisible, to dance with her. I can see them coming now. Red they wear, you can't see? You're not meant to. She is mine, only and only mine.

Aug 9, 2012

Chai je tomaye

I

Dekha hobe, dekha hobe
Taar sathe mor dekha hobe
Phiriye dite shey parbena

Rinijhini rinijhini,
Borsha bheja gaale thoth chepe tumi,
Heshechile, ar hashbe na?

Aj dirgho bashona shei
Eshe misheche ekaki hoyei
Pher bhul kore jeno phelona

Dakchi ami raat rajani, o rajani
Jeno chaad nishithe aro ramoni
Bolo meghe dheke ar thakbe na

Ami jani ami jani
Jotoi byatha dhore rakho tumi
Muchhe dite more parbena

Ogo tani, amar tani
Amar buker tukro khani
Jeno tumi, ey praan tore harabe na

II

Aj mileche misheche agni hawaye
Tore dekhar tarona amaye kadaye
Dekhbo tore chai dekhtey
Chinbo tore abar kore
Korish mana korbi ki ar?
Jani thakbi boshe nodir o paar
Tai jhap dilem aj nodir buke
Hathre sathre chokhe rekhe toke
Chaichi bodh hoye, tohar ek paloker bondhuta
Rosheboshe bhora nomro-bihara, tushto deher ardrota...
Dekho amare ekbar cheye mon juriye
Ami tomari aru bhinno nohe, hush chariye
Jhaapte dhore premer bhasha tomari kache shikhechi
Buke dhore niye bhalobasha prothom tomari buke rekhechi
Snigdho chetoney nogno bodoney chondoney chhobi ekechi
Bakey bakey koto moner phake shecchaye sriti bunechi
Bhultey kobhu parbiney tui, jotoi bhuli na ami
Tore kole kore niye aalingon kemon shukher jani

III

Shei mon matano koishor prem, aaj o shopne dhore
Dukkho kichu rakhini mone, tao je mone pore
Shey shob katha thakre ekhon
Aj duruduru mon jokhon tokhon
Lafiye othey pagla hawaye
Tapto chetan choncholotae
Shoyone shoyone bilokkhone nash holo koto shomoy
Unmadonaye aj mon taronaye, dekh domka hawa boye
Hawaye bhashe jonakir paal, akasher tara shudhaye
Hobe ki naki milon aji? Koi geli tora kothaye...?
Baare baare tai bolchi tomaye
Tej toroni aj tibro taronaye
Trishna toruni ar tej dhore nai
Bolei pheli, adbhut shundor dekhte tomaye!
Tomar phutphute hashi amar hridoy juraye
Ami boli shono ogo, kemon shonaye?
Dekhle tomaye, boltei hoye
Abar kore chai je tomaye!

Jul 18, 2012

The Magic Dice

Scene 1: Three friends sitting around a garden table are playing a game of dice.

Scene 2: One of the friends look perturbed as she exclaims, “How come we are not winning any rounds today and you are taking all the hands Wasim? What’s your secret?”

Scene 3: Wasim smiles, looks at her and says, “It’s all in your mind. What you believe is what you manifest. There’s no other secret to it Ely.”

Scene 4: Yousuf, the third friend looks at Wasim with a cunning smile, then looks at Ely and says, “Let’s play the next round and see. Place your bets.”

Scene 5: He puts a fifty on the table and says, “This is my last 50. On 5.”

Scene 6: Ely puts a ten on the table and says, “This is all I have. On 2.”

Scene 7: “A hundred from me on 6”, Wasim says putting in the 100 and rolls the dice.

Scene 8: The dice rolls on to the table and stops. [cut to] Wasim exclaims “Yesss!” in the background and starts gathering all the money with both hands. [cut to][Camera close-up on the dice] It’s a blank dice. There are no numbers on the dice on any side. [fade out]

Scene 9: [Black screen] Wasim’s voice whispers softly, “My friend, the game is in your mind.”

 

Jun 15, 2012

Fight me

Fight my might, fight my sight,
Fight me, fight me, fight me right.
Promise me love,
You will put an end to this fright.
Is silly you say,
You play no games,
You say no names!
Yet, you nor me is breathing, who?
See one among us is freezing too!
I love this scent of mighty chaos!
Love your dreams, love your kind,
Your full and silky satin behind…

Love your black as you hide in hind,
I love you my angry mind!

May 17, 2012

Ami ashbo...

Jotoi gobhirey dubi na keno,
toliye kokhono jabo na...
Ami ashbo, phire phire, baare baare
ami ashbo, tomari mone...

May 16, 2012

Ami eka nai

Aakash kusum nachere ajike
Hridoyer koto khela...
Nachite nachite ghurni hawa ey
Kete jaye koto bela...

Shopno mor shopno thakibe
Chokhe nai kono jol
Hashite hashite kete jabe khhon
Ar ki chawar bol?

Dui jone mora eki buke tthai
Shitey shorote sathe thaki tai
Pagol hawa ey matiye berai
Bajna bajiye shur diye gaai

Ami boli tai
Chol hath dhore gaai
Morey nachai kadai
Taader hashai...

Eki katha bole haaki shodai...
Ami eka nai, ami eka nai, ami eka nai...

Apr 19, 2012

Metamorphosis

Today is a day of transformation, a moment of metamorphosis. When she kissed me before stepping out of the door, I asked her, or rather uttered out an overwhelming desire, my wish, and I said, "Now its time for me to find out the difference between surrender and dependence."

She smiled, like the way she always does - it makes me free, liberated, like there's nothing more to worry about. And she said, "When you will be able to surrender, the word dependence will have no meaning at all."

She kissed my lips one more time, and then she left. It took me one whole day to realize what came out of her mouth. This moment I have surrendered. I feel it. I know it has begun. I know why we have not fallen apart till now. She was sent for me, I knew it but I could not surrender. She came to me so that I could surrender, to her.

"However talented a person you might be, you will never be able to reach your true potential if you do not surrender yourself completely, to your guru."

I used to tell everyone about it. I felt the truth in these words. I could smell the essence of it, but could never taste it myself. I was not ready. This 'I' had been just a made up mask, to put up for all those who wanted to see, or for all those whom I wanted to show. I knew it doesn't make any difference to me, whether they saw or not, who saw and who didn't, I knew. But 'I' was just this false ego, not real, a mirage. Maybe it still is. But today, I have gathered enough courage to face this mirage, this blasphemy on my existence, and write it down, so that I can read it again and again and again, till the day I can. Today I do feel what I am - nothing.

She is my guru. I accept it, and hereby I have surrendered unto her. And with a smile I say, it is not the final step but surely the first!

She saw a dream. It was very very vivid, that's what she said. At first she said she didn't know what to make out of it. But moments later, she said she knew exactly what it meant, which shall remain a secret buried deep inside her heart.

Ranjini, Sayantani and Kamalini - they were three sisters. Sayantani was her friend in school, and she used to love the courtyard in their house. She sees herself standing there, and a little girl is playing in front. She walks to her and asks her name. The little girl says, "My name is Ritopriyo". She is still in her own world playing with herself, and she looks like the little girl in the Persian film "Mirror".

Krishnakali, although having reasons enough to be startled and surprised, doesn't seem perturbed at all. There's a staircase going up from the courtyard which she starts climbing. She sees me coming down, and she tells me about the little girl downstairs whose name is Ritopriyo. I don't look surprised either. I come down the stairs looking for her. When I meet her, she is reluctant to talk to me or even face me. She asks, "Who are you?"

She is smart, she is intelligent. And I start asking her a few questions. She shoots back instantly, answers all my questions with another question that makes me ponder. She is at ease, though I know that she doesn't like me much. And then,

"Make love with your mother", she whispers.

I hope he understands, yes he does. I am the little girl, not him.

I am preparing to sleep now. A strange gust of wind enters my windows and takes off the ox clock. It takes off my right hand, the basket on my head, and a horn from the ox head.

It is enough for me to understand that the time has come. She has come, it is time for me to make love with my mother. I surrender me unto you....

Feb 15, 2012

Icche

Kokhono kokhono icche hoy boro swarthopor hotey
Kokhono ba icche hoy doriya ey dil boiye ditey

Kokhono kokhono icche hoy premiker prem hotey
Kokhono ba icche hoy ek brihot shudhu shunyo hotey

Kokhono kokhono icche hoy dhonno dhyane byom hotey
Kokhono ba icche hoy pagol nritye motto hotey

Ar kokhono, matro ek prokanda brikkho kando hotey

Koto koto icche kokhon kokhon
Jhilik mare jokhon tokhon
Ar ami dubi oi sagorer dheu er moton
Achhar kheye bichar peye
Mucche dite icche kore
Amar naam...
Jate keu na amaye chinte pare

Jan 26, 2012

Khhoma

Ekbar bol nei, keu nei tor
Ekbar bol shei, shei hoy tor
Ayna tor aj nei, nei aj tor
Ache porey jhhuro kaache mukh chapa,
Ar buk phata khhoma...
Tobe khhoma keno chahibo ami?
Khhoma chaye oi paaper kami
Chahibo ki janish ami?
Tore kole kore dhore,
Geet gaitey jibon bhore
Shudhu gaan noy, jibon, jatra koto ki...
Tobe jobe hashi phute maan ey mor, jani
Hobo paar nodi, tori tor, mani tai aaj e
Mor roktey likhlam ami, tor naam.

Jan 25, 2012

It does not finish

Dong! says the clock
Love no more now...
Tis' my misery
That drowns me to tears...
Blue tears messed with black ink,
Swirling lines of no symmetry
Keep whirling in random frenzy.
Random, is it? Or is it not?

Today we celebrate!
That's how dawn began.
Red oozed out of every pore
Of our tender skin...
Soft, supple, serene...
That's how I had felt, not now
Then, when my eyes woke to new rays
Of a new year, our third...

Turned down! I am.
Disgusted
Ephemeral bitterness.
That look daunts me,
Says, 'I don't care, or whatever'
I scream. And thorns, they creep
Inside my neck, my throat
Helpless I am, I cry

I speak, my voice is broken
Broken words, broken dreams
Broken...
Broken broken broken.
I am, for what?
For her not looking,
Searching, stealing, or whatever
From my eyes tonight.

Ma! whispers a voice from far.
Says 'say', urges me, she pushes me
A teardrop makes a heart too heavy
She chuckles with the few words
To love her only and only son.
She is timid at best, I 'prehend.
For the foxes that howl, and growl
Make her tremble tonight.

This day I am blue.
The blue pot
Is on hold still...
It does not finish.

Nov 8, 2011

Rehai

Opodartho tumi!
Ey morichika samajer ghuranto chakre
Hariye phelecho tumi tomar nijeke,
Hariye phelecho jibon, ek nishphol abegey
Bhulecho tumi jibito!
Ei paaper prayoschitto hobe tomar amari haate
Pashan bhora shudhu eet ar pathore,
Rehai pabe na tumi amar sathe
Nah, rehai tomaye dilam na!

Oct 26, 2011

Kalir Khhob

Murkho tui ma, murkho tui
Protidin dhup, joba, ar chandan ey
Bondona koriya pujli jaharey
Aj shey chokkhur shamne ele abotarey
Dakliney tobu tui ghore taharey?
Je biswas ache tor chhata chhobir upore
Shey biswas nai tohar atmar upore?

Oct 20, 2011

Ekhon tumio shunyo

Tomare ami jenechi, chinechi, bujhechi
Menechi ami tomare
Bhangsi kopal deoal thukrey thukrey
Maati deoaler chitkey chitkey pore
Shei shukno maatir tukro haatey
Ar makha maati kopal maathey
Cholechi hete bhikhari pothey

Dhormer chakro tobey taanche morey
Ghaar ta dhore ghuriye ghuriye
Tobei tomaye shudhai tobey
Amar shaathe ki mon jurabey?
Bolo taholey
Chitkaar kore bolo tobey
Emon bhabey, jeno mon o pran o shuntey parey

Maatir gondhey modhur gondho
Lukiye lukiye daakche amaye
Taanchey amaye tomar theke duurey
Shorke shorke horke giye pori ami maati tei
Bhalobasha je emon pagol hobe
Jantem ki ar goto kaale?
Tobu shob chhere cheyechi ami tomare

Pora kopal amar
Je cheyechi ami tomare
Chawa pawa mishe giyeche
Jeno ghola jole maati tey
Swacchota ar nei kothao
Mone, praane bone badarey
Hariyeche shunyotar majhe

Shunyo shunyo shob e shunyo
Bhabini boibe hawa eto tibro jhore
Dhudhu mon moru prante eka ami
Dekhini karu chaya ekhane
Hau hau kore ghurni hawa kaade
Chai je koto chutte tumi ashbe
Icche je shei prokashye noy, gopon hoyei thakbe

Hridoyke ke jeno nigrey nicche
Nigrey nicchrey mucchrey dicche
Joto hobe toto hok, aaro hok
Joto pyache chhire porche, aaro jeno mone shwosti hocche
Bhuliye dao, dio na abar
Monke boli bhule jao
Khhoniker jonno urey jao

Bhalobashar ei daan jodi jantam
Kete chhirey kobe kheye pheltam
Phul dilam, dul dilam
Chokhe tomar kajol dilam
Dile ki tumi?
Diyecho bujhi?
Tobe bodh hoy niyecho oneyk beshi

Dewa newar hishab
Tomar sathe noy
Shey shob amar saha poribaare hoy
Tobe thakchi to ami shei deoalei
Parcho ki tumi rakhtey amaye tamo-heyalei?
Bibhishika tumi, dhikkar kore boli ami
Ratno ek, jatno ar-ek...

Khhone khhone krome kromey
Nishwas mor ruddho hoye ashe
Bekheyal ey thakte chaye mon
Edik odik ghure beriye
Kothaye shey tar thikana paye
Bole na keu shudhu hashe
Rakkhosh konthe shudhu atto hashi hashe

Shopne ami dekhechi amar maa ke pagol hote
Mon pran dewa guru jone der
Amaye niye hashi thatta korte
Hashuk tara shoibo ami
Tobe januk tara
Ey amar kaj noy
Amar kaj ami korbo

Aj dekhechi ratri belae
Amar prothom guru shorone
Esheche shey dhore hath maaer
Amare tuley dhoroner
Jonyo, niye je shey jete chaye
Shei thatta hashir doler kache amaye
Dekhate shey chaye tader, amar shopno

Ami tomari hey matongini
Jotoi katha di shonani
Keu toh jaane koto khani
Chepe dhore rakha jaaye
Mon pran o deher kaaye
Keu toh jaane je ritoh ei
Tomari hath dhore shey haat tey chaye

Khhoma koro ar bolina ami
Bolle koto jhamela jani
Nishwo ami, tatei bishwo amar
Ta chhara, amar bhitor shudhu shunyota
Shunyo kaaye shunyo klesh
Shunyo bayu shunyo besh
Ekhon tumio shunyo

Tai toh anubhob korte pari
Shuntey pari dekhte pari
Laal sada kalo bujhte pari
Likhte pari bolte pari
Jiboner gaan gaitey pari
Aaktey pari gortey pari
Phurti tey aj ami urtey pari...

Sep 3, 2011

Va.Ra.Na.Si.

Pigeons in a flurry, in a
'Knot' so much to worry
Farewell this time, long old friends
Fly to me when time comes again.
Fly with no fury, to wonder for a while.
Fly so free, so I may see
This fanciful feast, once at ease.

Bulls in a wrestle, in a
Big hungry bustle, tight in a tussle,
Voraciously howl to a thuddle-thud-thump.
Where silence does not measure
Loudness or softness, in empty gallon cans.
This silence breathes,
A deep yellow east.

Vasun-dhara-krishna-sindura
All flow through in one river of love
This sweet aroma, to breathe
Of life in sweat and glory.
This moment in time, we celebrate
In rapturous hues of fussy-dizzy-hazy
Still screaming unheard! Va.Ra.Na.Si.

Jun 19, 2011

Mateura

Mateura Mateura
Don't you want to know,
Where your son wants to lie?
In a lap? In a wrap?
In a red cozy cushion trap?
Or those leaves, with the wind they cry
Out for some space whispering...

Mateura Mateura
Don't you want to see,
Where your son flies free?
Through the break of a brook,
And rustle of the breeze,
The flutter tailed grey bird
Glides at ease, shivering...

Mateura Mateura
Don't you want to be,
Where your son stays in glee?
Across canopies of pine, in green serene
Among apples and peaches and plums pretty purple
While a white giant from the distance, stares at me
Gleaming, ...glistening, ...listening

May 6, 2011

Bitters

Bitterness is sweet. I believe
This bitternes we'll forget.
We have a life too big to live,
It's big big bigger than what we get!

Bitterness is fine
For us to go on and find
The reason for us to stay
This very same way, and never while away...

When we open our eyes wide enough,
We see chaste love within!
So decide in haste if you may,
But if you follow your heart, I know you'll say
This stupid foolish bitterness
Tis' nothing nothing, not today...

Apr 18, 2011

Bolo tumi ke?

Dekhtey dekhtey, dekhtey dekhtey...
Shudhui tomarey dekhitey dekhitey...
Aaj, khuje nahi pai tomarey
Lukiye tumi acho hey kotha?
Kaane kaane shudhu shuni shey katha
Tumi bolo tobey,
Rekhecho ki tumi e, lukiye morey?

Hai hotobhaga tui! khujish karey?
Bolchi ami pabiney taarey
Kanna dhore chokher dharey
Rekhechish taar mon aadharey
Tobu, chepe rakha kon ondhokarey
Taanche torey chhayar twarey
Dakche torey mayar bhore
Kaadchey torey jhaapte dhore...

Janish ki tui? ey kanna pore
Ondho je tui aalo aadharey
Bikel pore, noyoner ek mridu aadoley
Dekhi tomarey, tobu nao shey tumi
Chitkaar kore bolo tobey...
Tumi ke? tumi ke? tumi ke?

Mar 14, 2011

The swing

I'm caged... Full stop. I'm now swirling in a latitudinal swing... At the moment I'm crying in the cradle of this mother-sworn basket which lures you to sleep... In a sleep where you see what they show, a sublime essence of crystal stained glasses deluding your sense to see, with a splattering kaleidoscope of clinkerring dreams.

And all they show
Is what they have made
None what you can make
I am here now, wide awake
To tell you the truth!
So they give me a taste of their juice
Mixed by men monotoned...
And I doze
Like you and those
Who knows, why
They crave to remain
Here, where lies nothing
But sand, but a tide to learn...
That's all, and just the swing.

Jan 7, 2011

Vixen, her name

Fear now...
Fear you fowl!
Fear her howl...
Juicy fangs to clench
My flesh...
My pace I know
Is dragging low...

In a stealing glance
From the opening...
I can see... I can see... I can see...
A rocket on a payroll
Is chasing me...
A hippo in humble cheese 'n' spice
Is flippering flabbering love in dice...
My dove she's gone, flown a-lone...

Vixen, her name now...
With wings she's raging!
She's chasing, she's caging,
Flinching and screeching!
Green blood, her whim
Is screaming screaming screaming!