Here, I am mine

I am silently entering into an alternate sphere of existence.

Here I do not live below, above, or for you.

Here I just live. Here, I am. 

It is a state of mind that floats to exist.

It does not have legs like we do.

It cannot stand, like we can.

It just floats, like air.

And so it moves

Through

Long winding tunnels in streaks, lines in my mind.

And so it feels like an exploding, expanding, exhausting

Cinematic journey of churning organic images forming a kaleidoscope

Of splifferaging colours splatterin’!

Only I can see this now.

Not you, nor them.

It is but for me, only for me.

I am supposed to. I choose to.

I will. I shall. I should.

And to see this,

I need to be here with myself.

Here with me. I need to be me, so much so as I can.

I choose to. And here I feel my nerves to the thick of my thumping, oozing heart.

I am special because I can. You can’t, nor them. Not like this.

So I am about to sink in myself for some time now.

Without having to think about you, or them.

I wish this to be my time now. Not yours, nor theirs.

Do not think I want it from you, or them. This time is not yours, nor theirs.

Here I need to be me now.

Here I am mine. And you,

Have to let me go.

For some little time more,

You have to let me go.

And wander.

For a while,

So I could think of a smile.

Even when you are not there.

You toh ratri titli chameli

Ami toh mantra jhere porini

Hobe ki naki montro safal?

Goli te kokhon jombe re jol?

Shokal bikel khabar khawai

Chop chopey roshey pachha dobai

Chat shey pachha

Roshey bhora swadhey

Keno kharap shonai? Mone boro badhe?

Dhur chhai koi,

Dhur chhai koi

Dhur chhai koi hete chole jai

Choltey choltey,

Koto path hete,

Beche thekeo jeno more more jai.

Etu tuk gaan likhlam, kaan shunli naki bol?

Elo ki alo, mon juralo? Shure badha ujjol,

Toree kalir kajol.

Jete hobe amaye hariye ekhon

Ei pawa haranor chhol je kokhon

Shuru holo taha bol?

Dekhe rakh ey'chhol shuru shobey

Bole rakhlam, rakh re shikhe

Mantra mugdho hoye thakbi shukhe

Dekha hobe, dekha hobe,

Chholey chholey pher dekha hobe

Ei holo bole… ekhoni hobe… abar hobe…